The medical books have decided that normal weight gain during pregnancy should be between 15 – 40 pounds. This range is dependent on your physical state at conception. If you are overweight, 15-25 will suffice, while those who are underweight should gain more weight than normal.
At the beginning of the pregnancy process I was in the normal weight range with an athletic build. My abs would occasionally poke through to reveal themselves in my mid-section. In no way was I rocking a 6 pack (or 8 pack) anymore, but I will admit I had a respectable 2 pack. Nobody was calling me fat and my arms and legs were loaded with definition. It seems that on the day the rabbit died my body instantly started its metamorphosis. My existing body began to wrap itself into a cocoon of its own making, trapping me within. I was not becoming a butterfly that would emerge from this cocoon in nine months a far more beautiful creature. My breasts began to get bigger as fat began to deposit there more readily. Surprisingly my spouse never really seemed to mind all of this in the least, not even one derogatory comment, she was very supportive.
There was no child growing in my uterus, yet my body seemed to know that it was time to participate in sympathy weight gain. Partially, I attribute this to my change of exercise habits. I traded my daily hour long workout sessions with bi-hourly trips to the bathroom to support my princess in her dry heaving efforts. The other major change was my diet which had me eating about 1,500 calories of nutritional, high protein meals Monday thru Friday and only splurging 2 days on the weekend. This regimen was quickly traded for me following the uncontrollable cravings for whatever food sounded delicious to her at the moment. We would go buy cookies, ice cream, double cheeseburgers, fries or whatever other delicacy she craved. We would come home, I would eat my portion and she would take a few bites then get nauseous. After each of these spells she would say, “Please just get it away from me, I do not want another bite, the smell is even making me sick.” Being ever vigilant in this tough economy, I disposed of the uneaten morsels in the best manner I knew… I devoured it. I love food and always have. I was also raised in a brood of 8 kids where the portions where there was always enough food for leftovers and I was always encouraged to clean my plate. After all, there are starving children in the world, so I had to eat all the extras for them apparently.
In total I added 65 pounds of extra handsome to my frame over the nine months of gestation. This is a feat that my wife could not have attained if she had another 3 months of pregnancy. Also I can attest to the old wives tale about heartburn during pregnancy indicating that the baby will have a lot of hair. I endured excessive heartburn throughout the entire incubation including many sleepless nights and when my daughter was born she had a toupee of dark hair. The best part in all of this is that once my daughter was born I did not lose one pound of this excess weight. 13 months later the same thing could be said. I have recently started to eat healthy again and have shed 12 pounds so far and will keep my progress posted. It’s time for me to start moving on with my life after pregnancy. After all, the old “my body never came back after my kids” excuse is pretty poor and only gets you sympathy from other fatties… especially if you’re a guy.
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